Things My Husband Says

For the sake of this post, we’re going to pretend that, like Sexy Husband, I have been having a vacation. Despite the fact that I’ve been going to work, I have had very few obligations this week, so we’ll just go ahead and call it a mini-vacation. Whatever.

In the run-up to this trip, I realized that I have never slept alone in this apartment (or this city, for that matter). Since I moved here in February, I have left town, but SH has not. I’ve gone to bed alone (on occasion, even that’s rare), but never woken up that way. I declared to him that I was going to sleep in the middle of the bed while he was gone, but he pointed out that I do that already (guilty). Curses! So, I decided to sleep on my own schedule, which I also pretty much already do anyway. I tried sleeping on the futon with the dog, but I remembered why I hate sleeping with her (talk about a bed-hog!), and the living room was too bright and warm. Total failure. So, failing the discovery of some scandalous sleep-rebellion in the next two nights, it looks like the only way my sleep is going to be different is that I miss him.

What I have been doing that surprised me is watching TV. Having the TV on all the time makes me antsy. It makes me feel pressured, like I can’t get any quiet. But last night, after talking to him, while getting ready to take a bath, I put on a movie and let it play in the background. All those times when people have said they turn it on for company, I kind of scoffed, but yesterday I got it. As I lay in the bath and listened to Aeon Flux in the other room, I could imagine that he was there, just out of my sight. It wasn’t the same as having him here, but it soothed the ache a little.

And finally, I remembered why I had a cat when I was living alone. The Little Lady is needy! Yesterday I went to get my Food Handler’s Permit in the morning. I was gone less than 2 hours, and I gave her a kneecap to occupy herself. When I got home, it was stripped, and she had taken it on the couch. Gross, first of all, and secondly, seriously? Two hours? I don’t think she realized he was gone, the first day, and the second day I was home all morning. But yesterday seemed to be the day that made the difference. When I left in the morning she was mad, and when I came back, she was squirrelly, like she was going to get in trouble. Of course, she did eat her gross kneecap on the couch, so she wasn’t entirely wrong, but there was no reason for her to slink around the house for the rest of the day. Poor thing. And doubly so because I am tired of being a single dog-parent. Always with the wanting to go outside and refusing to poop! (I know, it’s not that bad, I’m just whining a little. What do you want? It’s my blog.)

I had some ambitious plans that I was going to undertake in his absence, but they’re mostly going nowhere. I was going to clean the closet, but I haven’t even started. I did start knitting a hat for him, which will be awesome. I also got some degree of control back from the kitchen, and did some yoga, so that was good. So, whatever. Let’s call it a success, shall we? I’m going to spend the balance of this vacation cleaning the house and shaving my legs, so he feels loved when he comes home. Because he is loved, and I look forward to having him home.